1st Birthday Series: Cards, Theme, Decorations

So far in this series, topics ranging from venue hunting through beautification to the dress have been covered at length.  I guess the next part should obviously cover the 'behind-the-scenes' of the birthday preparations.  I do not know yet if there will be enough material to make this a good blog entry, but let's see how it will develop.

When I was a kid, birthday parties seemed simple.  Invite friends, have balloons and some confetti, prepare some snacks, conduct some games, cut the cake and have a good time.  I really have no idea how much work this meant for our parents, but if I just look at it from my angle, it seems quite direct and uncomplicated.  Times have changed...now is the time of 'event managers'!  I am not quoting any source or am not revealing any names...but one of my acquaintances recently went for a kid party with the theme "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".  Apart from the usual jumping castles and magicians and face painters, they actually got a chocolate fountain and had chocolate bars wrapped up in special 'tickets' as gifts for the kids.  Every kid had to earn a bar cum ticket before being allowed inside (it wasn't as harsh as it sounds).  And in the end, every kid was given a DVD of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".  Being the typical Indian that I am (!), I calculated that if I were to invite 50 kids to a party and have to give 50 DVDs, it would cost already more than my planned party!!!

A quick search on the internet suggests that all the 'good' parties nowadays require event managers.  Since my kid is too young to actually appreciate what we do for her, we decided to do everything ourselves.  My sister is already a veteran at children's first birthday parties (as she conducted two herself and attended couple of others herself).  She advised us to decide on a theme first and then work from there.  The reader may want to Google "First Birthday Party Themes" and will get "38,700,000" results!  After a couple of brain storming sessions (with less brain activities and more of internet searching!), we finally unanimously decided on My little Pony as the theme.  It seemed perfect...suited for a girl...very nice colours...and with options to develop (which means plenty of characters to use for theme related stuff).

My wife and I started 'designing' an invitation card after that, with the help of the theme.  Wife took care of the text and I of the formatting.  After a couple of drafts, we finally seem to have incorporated the theme with our joy of celebrating Jenny's birthday.  

Once the card was ready, we decided to have it printed and we posted it (yes, via snail mail!), we sent it (via email) and we distributed them (via husband) and spread the word.  I was particularly motivated to invite people from afar (since I was 100% sure they wouldn't come but would feel happy they got invited!).  

Finally, the decorations.  With 8 more days to go, I am a little embarrassed to say that we have not reached anywhere concretely yet.  We want a backdrop (theme and baby combined) and I got couple of quotations already.  We visited some 'party shops' and saw what they have to offer.  I consulted a few 'artistic' friends and they are thinking about what to do.  I have approached healthy friends to help with the balloons on that day!  So, let's see how it turns out.  I have learned from experience that 'last minute panic' sometimes works wonders in my case.  I hope the same applies here.

This was the 4th entry in the birthday preparation series.  I intend to write one more on 'final preps'...so I guess I will not be publishing anything on this topic for another week.  But let's see...life is always full of surprises! :)

1st Birthday Series: The Dress

Have you heard the expression "To poison one's mind"?  I would like to explain this using references from the movie Inception.  Inception is the process of implanting an idea into somebody else's mind in such a manner that the other person never realises that the idea is not his/her own (I think I got it right!).  In other words: the idea belongs to somebody else...but it is implanted in another person's mind.  The same thing happened in this topic.

My sister is blessed with two sons.  She has a very interesting sense of fashion and her boys are always well dressed and very often non-conventionally (I doubt I have seen a baby younger than 6 months wearing a shervani yet!).  Through her friends and colleagues, she heard of a fashion boutique that specialises in designer clothes for kids (daughters!).  The place is called Strawberry.   Ever since Jennifer was born, my sister has been telling us that we just have to get her birthday dress from there.  

I have my reservations concerning designer wear...I find them over-priced and frankly, not that special.  I mean unless one is aware of what is happening in the fashion circles, I doubt people would recognise a certain design as 'one of its kind'.  And unless a design is recognised as unique, what is the point of spending such sums on such attires?  Especially if the person wearing them is only 12 months old and is happiest running around sans clothes!  That's a personal thought.

However, as fate would have it, my wife is a woman, too!!!  Obviously, the thought of her first-born wearing a designer dress for her own party is too overwhelming.  So, being the good husband that I am (Note: I can promote my positive points on my blog!), I agreed a year back that we would get the dress from 'Strawberry' for the birthday.

Months passed.  Birthday approached fast.  Husband got reminded now and then about his 'Strawberry' promise.  Finally, the time came when I had to act upon my word.  Circumstances were kind to us and my sister couldn't come along (he he he!).  Our nuclear family went on foot from MG Road and tried to spot the 'designer store'.  Considering the types of designer stores I have seen in Indiranagar and other places, I had my expectations set.  These said expectations came quickly crashing down!

'Strawberry' turned out to be a small shop (maybe 3x5m dimensions), with hardly any proper lighting, no ventilation (except one fan above the cashier's chair) and hundreds of dresses.  We showed Jennifer to them and asked for birthday gowns.  I don't know what happened, but suddenly my thoughts and those of my wife were in perfect sync.  We unanimously found the colours too loud and the designs not that special.  Readers, kindly don't get me wrong.  The place had some very nice gowns for slightly bigger kids, but we hardly found anything that we thought would suit Jenny.  The whole store-browsing took about quarter hour.

We left the shop without any pangs of sorrow that our kid would not be wearing a designer dress on her birthday.  In fact, I was even happier that the decision was shared by my wife and did not have to come from my mouth.  However, less than half hour later, we found a dress for Jenny in another shop nearby that we liked immediately, which cost almost 1/3rd of the other gown and which was still branded (though not designer wear!).  

As usual, our expedition ended with a good dinner at a place called 'Crazy Kababs and Curries', which I strongly recommend to people favouring Indian cuisine to try.  It was very cosy, nice ambience, very good food and quite reasonably priced.  Thus ended the year long anticipated 'dress shopping'.

Next part of the series ideally should be concerning the theme, decoration, cards and so on...let's hope I can stick to the plan. :)

1st Birthday Series: Beautification

With a party on the horizon and two women at home (wife and daughter of mine!), it is but natural that the personal preparations started as early as all the other preparations for the 'Day'.

It was a matter of discussion ever since Jenny was born about when her ears should be pierced.  Call me a 'softee' but I was totally against the idea of 'piercing my daughters body' (even if it just for an ear ring) and would have preferred to get it done when she was old enough to want it.  However, the experts (on the internet!!!) are of the opinion that the earlier the ears get pierced, the better, as the young kid would hardly realise that anything happened.  

So, I kept postponing this matter and finally agreed telling that when Jenny's grandparents would come, they could all go together (without me) and get it done.  But somehow, all this changed with the advent of the birthday.  How could we invite dozens of guests for Jenny's party and have her not 'dressed up'!  A woman needs to look her best at her own party!

Plans were made...the official family photographer was summoned (my sister!) and we went to the new Joy Alukkas centre on MG Road.  The place is really something else...the area is vast...the treatment is courteous...and the glitter and glimmer is intoxicating.  We told what we were there for, and they took us to a different floor so that it would be calmer when 'the deed needed to be done'.

There is a reason why I don't like going to jewellery stores.  I mean, at the end it is gold...how different does one ring look from another and so on...I like to keep it simple: decide on a budget, decide what to buy and get the first thing that satisfies the said criteria.  As simple as that.  However, when one accompanies women and if it is for an occasion and not just simple shopping (as if buying gold is ever simple!), things reach a whole new level.  Sales people are nicer...selection is bigger...and confusion increases!  They had the cutest studs available, in perfect sizes for Jenny which perfectly fitted out budget.  But things are never this simple.  Turns out, these are studs for noses and are charged per piece!  

Well, finally we found a pair that looked really nice (had to stretch our budget a bit, but what the heck!).  Now came the part where I intended to leave Jenny in the capable hands of her mother and aunt.  Which father can bear the sight of tears on his first born daughter's face?  Again, I was proven wrong.  Apparently, it is better if the father held the daughter as he had the firmer grip.  Yeah, right.  To cut a long story short: ears were marked and pierced (gun shot)...baby cried briefly (very briefly)...and dad ended up drenched in sweat in such a manner that people thought Jenny had relieved herself!!!  The day ended with a very satisfying dinner at Samarkhand.

Step 2 in the beautification process is the hairdo.  Jenny's was easy...wife took her to the beauty parlour and got the hair trimmed.  Regular readers might remember my previous post about how Jenny is cursed to have her father's hair.  So, as of now, nothing much can be done there.  But wife also has been wanting a change in style for sometime.  After hearing the recommendations of my colleague, we got her an appointment at Bounce.  Wife went for haircut...daughter and I bonded, while treading the footpaths in front of UB City and making Jenny play with the fountains.  Wife got her haircut...was not sure if she liked it or not since it was different from the earlier 'Kerala cuts', but I liked it (that's what matters, right?).  Again, the evening ended with a pleasant take out dinner at Plantain Leaf (we like eating out and keep finding excuses to do so!).

That more or less covers the beautification part.  The next part would be about getting Jenny the right dress.

1st Birthday Series: Venue Hunting

On the 30th of October, our little one is turning one!  Wow!  I cannot believe a year has passed by.  At the risk of sounding cliché, I need to agree with the general opinion that time actually does fly by.  I will write more of my thoughts concerning her turning one at some other time.  Right now, I intend to focus more on the event.  Since there are a lot of factors involved in celebrating her birthday, I intend to write them one-blog-entry-at-a-time in a more or less chronological order, with the culmination being a blog entry about the actual party.

The first thing we did when we started thinking about having a party was the 'where'.  I have heard that halls in Bangalore are always overbooked and constantly in demand.  So we decided it was better if we started well in advance.  My wife and I decided to keep the party small (since all 'wise' baby sites warned us that big birthday parties might scare babies!).  Jenny's birth and baptism happened in Kerala; so most of our Bangalore relatives and acquaintances were unable to attend.  So we made a list of people essential to the party and started to check out halls.  

This was the first time I was planning a party for myself in Bangalore.  Hence, I was quite unaware of the terms and conditions of halls, rates and so on.  I printed out a menu suggestion that we liked and went from restaurant to restaurant within a five km radius.  The scenario in most places is that the hall comes free but that the food has to be taken from that restaurant itself.  This is reasonable enough.  However, when one compares the rates from hotel to hotel, that's where the difference shows.  For the same food prices varied from 150 INR to more than 350 INR.  Which I found was unreasonable, since none of the hotels were of Star Quality or much different from the rest.  

The next option was to rent a hall, independent of a restaurant, and to have the food catered.  This would have been the ideal choice.  But apparently, the party halls that exist in our area are primarily meant for wedding parties and would be too big for our small one.  We finally did find a good one, which belongs to a convent.  It was perfect and we agreed to take it.  The rate was reasonable, too.  However, two days later, I received a call from the Mother Superior of the convent, in which she informed us that since it was a convent and they would be having prayers in the evening, they could not have parties after 6 pm.  Which was inconvenient, since we thought of having our party from 6.30 pm on...I mean, for a birthday party, half the attraction are the lights and decorations, which, I think, lose out their charm in day light.  Nothing like artificial light to bring out colours!

So, this option was out, too.  3rd option was to build a 'tent' on the roof of our house and to have the party there.  Well, I was against this idea from the very outset.  Let's face it...people from the south are not that used to standing dinner parties.  They need to be seated and they like to sit when they eat.  And for a seated dinner party, our roof would surely not suffice.

Finally, we decided to go for a hall cum menu from one of the reasonably priced restaurants, which had a pretty good hall, too.  Calls were made, menu's were discussed, numbers were exchanged: everything was done.  

Apparently not yet!  The week when all this was decided was the last week of September.  That week was important in India as on the 30th of September, the Ayodhya judgement was to be taken.  So, the day after I confirmed the hall, I got a call from the hotel telling me that they would not be able to have the party since it would be the day of the judgement and unrest in the city was expected.  I smiled and told them that our party was on 30th of October, which cleared the matter.  They just got confused since we planned things to far ahead of time.  Well, I would rather be safe than sorry.

So, now we have the hall.  The next step in the 'saga' would come in the next blog entry! :)

...ears that can hear the grass grow!

I was never good at biology...but I guess I can safely state that cats seem to have one of the best set of ears in the animal kingdom.  I have seen cats deeply asleep (apparently!) and yet their ears seem to be on constant alert.  It's almost impossible to sneak up on a cat (though obviously there are always exemptions).  I personally hate cats, other than Garfield, but that is another topic.

Jennifer's auditory senses seem to be of a entirely different category altogether.  I have an example to explain.

Bangalore celebrated Ganesha Chaturthi last week.  Visually, it is quite nice to see lots and lots of decorated Ganesha's in the city...but the festival is hard on the ears!  There are drums, crackers, fireworks, people whistling and so on and so forth...most of which takes place from 10 pm onwards!!!  And since it is a religious festival, nobody seems to be in the mood to complain.

Obviously, the very thought of Ganesha and Divali  brings a shudder to a first-time dad.  With the entire foundations of the city quivering under the audio-assault of the celebrating masses, I always worry if my kid will be able to get a decent night's sleep.  I mean for a person who hasn't been on this earth for a year yet, these festivals might be too overwhelming.  

So, Ganesha arrived.  And it was as expected.  The mass of believers would carry out their processions only once lights dimmed in the living rooms.  Drums would start their rhythm once people turned off their TVs.  Crackers start bursting once people cosy up into their blankets.  Typical Ganesha celebration.

Jenny was already asleep by the time the spectacle started.  But here comes the shocker.  We must have had at least 6 processions pass by our window during the last one week.  Jenny hasn't woken up to a single one of them!  She just slept through them.  She didn't even turn or toss in her sleep!

And its not that she is hard of hearing...no, she isn't.  And I have an example for that as well.  The moment I cough or put on my slippers or clear my throat or do anything in these lines while she sleeps, she shows signs of waking up!  I don't know how she does it!  Crackers are fine, but dad coughing?  Or hundreds of people walking/whistling/dancing by our window is acceptable, but dad putting on his slipper?  God forbid while Jenny baby is sleeping!

I am yet to figure out this enigma that is my daughter.  And I doubt I shall ever completely succeed.  

A travelogue of sorts

People who know me and have heard of my travel experiences know that I am mostly beset by a whole range of misfortunes during the progress of the journey.  In fact, I often 'flatter' myself that I have experienced everything there is to experience in a Kerala-Bangalore journey.  Bus Journey!  Let me elaborate by sharing how this time's travel went.

It was Onam 2010.  Onam is the festival of Kerala, that is celebrated by each and everyone.  It is a ten-day celebration, that includes a sumptuous meal (purely vegetarian, for a change!), games, flower arrangements, shopping, tying up of swings and so on and so forth.  Schools and colleges are also closed for 10 days for Onam.  The capital (Trivandrum) gets into the celebration as well by declaring the Onam week and the Tourism Week in Kerala, and the entire city will be full of illuminations (colourful lights decorating the streets and buildings), and with plenty of cultural programs as well as exhibitions and discount sales everywhere.  The week culminates with a procession through the streets with different kinds of displays and decorated vehicles from all over the state, colleges and government departments.  And this is just the scenario in the city.  There are other events happening in Kerala during this season as well, the most famous of all being the 'Snake Boat Race'.  What I intend to highlight here is how festive the atmosphere is in the state once Onam comes along.  

Another detail worth mentioning is how difficult it is to travel comfortably to Kerala.  Trains are constantly overbooked.  If one intends to make a reservation by train to travel to Kerala, one really needs to do so 90 days in advance.  If one gets delayed even by a week, it's the reservation list.  Travel by plane doesn't really make sense unless one lives in Trivandrum or Cochin (where the airports are located); it would take me at least 3 hours by road to get from any of these airports to my home in Kerala.  The other alternative is to go by bus.  Now, the positive aspect about buses is that there are plenty of them.  The major flaw: there are so many of them that they have become so complacent that quality has taken a back-seat.  Bad seats, delays en route, frequent break downs, mediocre restaurants, etc.  These are all things the travellers have to adjust with.  I am not saying all bus companies are like this, but it is still a general trend.  And oh, the booking period for buses is usually 14 days.

Regular reads would know that Anuja and Jennifer had left for Kerala almost a month in advance before I could go. So, I booked my bus ticket on time and made sure everything was ready for the journey from my side.  The day of the journey came.  I reached home from office 2 hours before I needed to report to the travel office.  By bags were packed and I was good to go.  The day was Friday and it was two days before Onam.  Time was approximately 1500 and the reporting time and departure time were 1730 and 1800 respectively.  

I was about to leave office to get home, when literally out of the blue, disaster struck!  My body started heating up and I was shivering.  I got home and it got worse.  Anyways, I refused to take any medication as I feared I would fall asleep and would miss my bus.  I braved the shivers and somehow made it to the travel office.  I called my sister and her husband in between and requested them to help me depart as I felt I was too weak to do things on my own.  God bless them, they came and helped.  I got onto the bus, took my pills and off I went (half an hour late).  

Dinner was on time, which was a good sign.  We seemed to be making good progress.  How wrong we were.  At half past one, we reached the Kerala-Tamil Nadu border called Walayar Checkpost.  Ideally, it should have taken us maybe another 6-7 hours to reach our destination.  But I guess since it was Onam and the checkpost authorities were overworked (I am being sarcastic here!), traffic was not moving till 6 am!  Nothing was moving.  We were standing outside the bus in a mild drizzle till half past six, till things started moving again.  And once the sun rises in Kerala, traffic conditions change.  Roads are narrow in Kerala, but drivers are rash.  I think the reader can visualise the rest.  We moved so slowly.  We finally reached the stop before mine (where we should have reached at 7 am) at exactly 1700!  Since it was already very late, they wanted to call us a taxi to take us to the next destination as the bus immediately had to return to Bangalore with that day's passengers, who were already waiting since 1500!  So, I called my dad and he picked me up and I finally arrived home about 10 hours late!

I reached home with anticipation on how Jenny would react once she sees me.  After all, it's been exactly 3 weeks since she has seen me last.  I got home and there she was outside the door waiting in her mother's arms.  It might have taken her maybe 5 minutes to smile at me properly, but then she immediately got into my arms and things were as they were before!  

A word about Jenny.  She appeared well when I saw her.  She gained some weight and her facial features had gotten more pronounced.  But behaviourally, she had changed a lot.  If she was cuddly before, that particular trait has increased by leaps and bounds!  She would just come and lean against me, or put her head to my chest, or do similar things.  Also, she makes attempts at speaking to us.  She hasn't mastered 'mama' or 'dada' yet, but she is very close!

But I couldn't immediately enjoy all this.  The elongated trip had taken its toll on me, too.  I had to go to the hospital and got a set of medicines, antibiotics and an injection.  Apparently, I had gotten a viral fever that was doing its rounds, told me the doctor who was coughing himself!  So, out of the one week I had at home, I spent 4 days in bed, sustaining myself with pills and fluids and hating all families of viruses for not allowing me to enjoy the food nor the stay at home!

Towards the end of the week, we did a family trip to Trivandrum, visited old hostels, colleges and peers, enjoyed the illumination in  the city, had a nice coffee at the beach and returned the next day.  The trip back to Bangalore was fine, too.  We drove down and took a nice, scenic route that kept us from crowded Kerala roads and got us back to Bangalore in 11 hours!  

Thus Onam 2010 got over.  I am amazed at how much can happen in so little time.  But if I ignore all the hardships of the trip and tell myself that I suffered all this just to get Jenny back to Bangalore, it was all worth it. 

Hearing and Seeing

It is humanity's biggest vice to be interested in gossip or second hand information.  We love to hear about the lives of others.  Be it about relatives, neighbours, friends, colleagues, celebrities, villains...we love to hear stuff.  Be they true or not.  And we help these stories survive.  I remember (years back) I received a forward with 'photographic proof' how NASA faked the first moon landing.  Well, I don't think anyone of us believed the matter, but it still did not stop us from forwarding the mail to our contacts, just because we thought it was an interesting mail.  And I am quite sure, they would also have forwarded it on.  Thus the news spread.

It makes me often wonder how much value and importance we give to the 'spoken word'.  I would think that it is often something that depends from whom it comes.  For example: a friend might tell me a certain piece of information that might seem very unlikely.  I think I may remain sceptical also.  But if I had seen this piece of information in the newspaper (and that, too, on the front page) or if I had seen a documentary on it by a prominent channel known for its quality documentaries, I might have believed the matter quicker.  Which is why I guess people feel more cheated and outraged when the head of states are accused of lying rather than 'petty' players being convicted of being deceptive.

I think all of us realise that we rather believe what we see with our own eyes than what we hear.  Even if we come across things where we have to say, "I couldn't believe my own eyes", ultimately we will believe what we saw.  We trust our eyes/vision that much.  We might accept that we have misunderstood something that was said, but we will never say that we 'mis-saw' something.  

I am myself not sure where I am going with all this.  I haven't seen Jennifer for almost three weeks now.  And three weeks for an infant is three weeks of uninterrupted growth.  I swear: babies seem to grow by the day.  You buy them a dress now and within a week, it starts signs of being 'smaller'.  

All these three weeks, I have been hearing from Jenny's mother and Jenny's grandparents about Jenny.  I hear about how Jenny chases the cats, how she plays in the sand, how she started walking around by holding on to stuff, how she has grown bigger and so on and so forth.  And I have not seen a single picture of her yet from her holidays.  Even if the info comes from the most reliable sources, I still need to see her doing all this.  I am not sure if I am just making excuses because I want to see her sooooo badly, but I I'd rather see her doing all these things than hearing about it. I want to see her roaming around...I want to hear her giggle...I want to see her cranky!  And no amount of information over the phone is going to compensate for that.

Another 3 days and I shall have my wish granted.  I shall see Jenny again in three days.  And I really hope, that for the next immediate few months, we won't get separated again! :)

The same night

My last blog entry was on our 15 hour journey to Kerala by road.  I guess I was able to communicate how exhausted and tired we all were by the time we reached home.  We all took refreshing showers, ate homely food and immediately went to sleep.

Regular readers know how Jenny has a habit of trying to jump of the bed.  Since the bed in our room (in Kerala) would not have been able to accommodate all three of us, Anuja decided to sleep with Jenny on the floor; just so that she doesn't have to worry about Jenny falling off the bed.  It might have been around 10 p.m. by the time we went to sleep.  All three of us fell asleep immediately.

Almost at sharp 4 a.m. my wife wakes me up saying, "Your daughter is awake".  Not that Jenny never wakes up, but she usually immediately goes back to sleep after having been fed.  However, if she is 'up' it means she won't go back to sleep immediately.  Being the caring husband that I am (!), I told my wife to sleep on the bed and that I would take care of the kid.

A word about the house: space is ample in Kerala.  Houses are built lavishly...everything is bigger and wider here.  Kids coming from Bangalore love coming to Kerala as they have plenty of space to crawl, run, play and explore.  Same goes for Jenny.  For the next three hours (while the rest of the house was obviously still asleep), she crawled around, explored, and visited all the areas of the house she had access to.  There was no sign of fatigue or anything that this little creature had just travelled 850 km in one stretch.  She seemed even livelier than she would be in Bangalore!  I took some snaps just to show people I am not exaggerating (it was taken on the mobile phone in poor light...kindly excuse the bad quality of the pics).  

 I haven't seen her in almost 8 days now.  But from what I am hearing, she is still exploring and enjoying every inch of ground that she gets extra from what she is used to in Bangalore.  :)

Road Trip

My sister and myself are both 'settled' in Bangalore with our families.  We try to visit our parents once every year with our kids and spouses.  And we try to plan our visits in such a way that all of us (kids, kids-in-laws and grand kids) will be there at the same time.  That makes the period a true family get together.   

This year is no exception.  We have planned our stay with our parents for Onam.  It's not that Onam is a particularly important festival for our family.  But we thought it was nice to be home during festive season and to make the most out of it.  

However, I generally do not take more than a week's leave at a stretch, if it can be helped.  I would rather have 2 or 3 one-week's leaves than a single big chunk of leave.  This would not have left Anuja and Jennifer much time in Kerala. So we decided that mom and kid should go in advance and spend some time with grandparents from both sides, without having to hurry through their vacations.  After much deliberation, we decided that going by car was the best option.  Train was vetoed since they required 3 months' advance booking.  Flights were way too expensive.  Bus seemed to be too strenuous for the kid.  Car seemed the perfect choice.  We could take all the stuff that seemed important for the baby without having to compromise anything.  And we would be able to take as many breaks in between as seemed required.  My father (God bless him!) also agreed to come to Bangalore first and share the 850 km drive with me.

Preparations commenced days in advance.  Shopping...packing...arranging...more shopping...rearranging...shopping...more packing...vaccinations...and so on and so forth.  We were more or less done with the preps two days before the actual journey date.  My father arrived the night before and the car was also checked and prep'd by Friday.  We bought some more provisions for the journey and went to sleep early.

Day of journey: alarm woke us up at 4 am!  Jenny's mom heated up milk and filled up the containers.  Jenny's dad arranged the luggage in the car.  Jenny herself woke up in time to be swooped up into warmer clothes.  We said a short pre-journey prayer and off we went.  

The entire journey took us exactly 14.5 hours.  We had a breakfast and lunch break and 3 feeding breaks.  We learned the hard way (to be read as baby throwing up) that Jenny needed to be fed with the car not moving!  But in general: she was an angel!  I mean it is not an easy feat at all for a 9 month old baby to sit still in a car for almost fifteen hours at a stretch!  At home, once she is awake, she hardly sits still for a minute.  But throughout the journey, she was at peace...she slept well, ate well, enjoyed the ride, loved the breeze from open windows on her face and so on....We were truly amazed on how well she adjusted.

The trip in general was nice.  The route was very scenic...traffic was very bearable...and we did very good time...that is until we reached Kerala.  Kerala never fails to amaze me.  I could always tell I had entered Kerala when I saw the vegetation suddenly grow lush and green.  But over time, I came to realise that another way to figure out that I had entered God's own Country was by paying attention to the roads.  4-lane roads suddenly become single-lane country roads with more traffic than even the 4-lanes could have accommodated; all this with a generous dose of road-works, that include digging and concreting!  It was pathetic.  Whatever time we saved till Kerala, we lost once we got onto our roads.

Anyway, the journey was safe...we reached home well...and more or less at a decent hour.  As soon as we reached, Jenny immediately went into the arms of her grandmother (my mother) as if she had been seeing her on a daily basis.  Another interesting thing was that immediately after having had a bath, Jenny was back to her normal self.  On seeing her, nobody would have believed that this baby had just travelled 850 km in 15 hours!  She was crawling around, shouting, playing and so on as she would have done in Bangalore.

Thus Jenny reached Kerala for her vacation.  More posts regarding her stay there and my stay (without her) here will follow! :)

Saint or Sinner

"Fakir 'beheads' toddler, 'drinks' his blood in Tamil Nadu" - This was a heading in the Times of India a couple of days back (to read the full story, follow the link).  To cut a long story short: a religious man gets a vision of his goddess who demands a human sacrifice from him.  He obliges by beheading an 18 month old child and drinks its blood, too, in order to really please his god.  

Religions often demand acts of piety from its believers.  I am OK with that.  I mean, as long as people believe that their religion offers them a means to salvation or shows them a path to a peaceful existence, by all means make the believers work towards it.  Then again, I would suppose that religion would show the people how to live (via guidelines) and most likely instruct them on what not to do.  It may not have to be as structured as the Ten Commandments of the Bible, but there should definitely be indicators on how to live one's life.

Basically, I would say the underlying message of all religions should be (and would most likely be) that creation should coexist peacefully.  People should respect and never exploit nature.  People should peacefully coexist with other human beings.  I believe that all religions are moving towards this ideal in their own manner with their own philosophy.

But if a god asks of a believer to kill in his name or to wage wars; if this god justifies violence to attain an end, I guess there is something wrong.  Which omnipotent and omniscient power would ask of a believer to end the life of another human being?  In this case, the victim was not even a sinner or a criminal who defied the god; it was an 18 month old child!  I look at my 9 month old child and do not think this 18 month old child could have been much different!  

How dare this animal justify his action attributing his mission to be god-given?  How can anyone justify the taking of a human life?  How can the taking of one innocent life improve the life of another?  How can one call oneself religious if one doesn't have a conscience?  How can one call oneself a human being if one cannot look upon a child with love and compassion?

I really feel something is really wrong.  If any religion or god teaches anything that is not about peace and harmony, I do not think that they should be called 'god' or 'religion'.  Why waste such sublime terminologies on something that cannot and shouldn't even be spoken off in relationship with human actions and beliefs?  There is something seriously wrong in this world...I wish more people would speak out and at least try that such trends are completely done away with.

Daddy's home!

I was travelling for almost a week.  Though in my line of work, trips cannot be strictly called business trips, it was still an official trip!  It was a blend between a road trip and a business trip.  My boss and I travelled by car an approximate of 400 km daily, seeing the sites and visiting places of commercial, social and cultural interests.  Though it was my home state, we visited many places where I myself had never been to.

So, after all the travel, I got home yesterday.  Readers might remember how I expressed my fear before on whether my daughter would recognise me after a gap of a couple of days.  These thoughts were going through my head when I was going up the stairs to my house.

There she was, in her mothers arms.  She looked at me with concentration written all over her face.  Then she smiled!  So, what did I do?  I swept her into my arms like I always do.  Big mistake!  She immediately 'demanded' to go back to mother's arms.  She might have smiled at me, but that didn't mean she was full recognising me yet!  

The next 5 minutes were fully dedicated in re-introducing me!  Once I got her laughing and smiling, I guess she understood me to be the guy who lives in the same house. :)

In two weeks, Jenny and her mother are going on a trip of their own for 3 weeks.  If a 5 day trip required me to spend 5 minutes on re-introducing myself, I am wondering whether the same ratio applies when I meet her again after those 3 weeks.  Wishful thinking, methinks!!!

Marco - Polo

Marco Polo is a children's game usually played in water.  One player is blindfolded and calls out 'Marco' and another random player has to reply 'Polo'.  Marco has then to find Polo while remaining blindfolded...but he/she can keep calling 'Marco' and 'Polo' has to answer.  

Where am I going with this?  Has Jenny started playing?  No.  Has she started swimming?  No.  Then why am I explaining a game that people play in their swimming pools?

We just found out the cutes thing yesterday.  My wife keeps playing with Jenny as if she cannot find her.  She keeps saying, "Jenny!  Where is Jenny?  Where did Jenny go?" and Jennifer usually would come crawling with a big grin on her face!  However, yesterday when the same game was played and when my wife said those famous "where is Jenny" words, our daughter said, "Ga!"  We tried again.  "Ga!"  Again and again, the result was the same.  She somehow figured out that when she is being called, she has to respond.  

I know I am repeating myself, but toddlers never fail to amaze me how they figure out stuff.  I mean we have not taught her how to respond when being called; we find her too young for that.  But somehow she saw my wife and I responding when called and she figured out that she had to do the same.  I have said it before and I say it again, if we were still as smart and observant as we were when we were young, there would be no end to our learning and to the things we gain in our lives.

Spice is the variety of life

What to feed a baby is always a matter of confusion to parents.  Parents are always worried if they provide the right food with the right amount of nutrients which is healthy and tasty to the baby as well.  Initially it seems easy: the baby can get its entire dietary requirements from its mother.  But after the first couple of months, milk somehow doesn't suffice any more!

Luckily, we found a doctor who is quite different in his approach.  From her 4th month onwards, he recommended that we get her started on solid food.  And by solid food, he didn't mean the purred food that supermarkets sell as baby food (Jenny hated it!), but the ordinary food her parents deemed worthy to eat, although by reducing the salt and spices for her.

She is 8 months old now.  For the past 4 months, we have been feeding her everything: from rice to pasta to bread.  From carrots to cabbage to beans.  From milk to juice to porridge.  She eats everything.  Thank God.  And we pay proper attention not to make anything too salty, too spicy or even too sweet (the day she has a bit of sweetness in the form of chocolate or ice-cream, she remains hyperactive for hours on end!).  

However, last week she surprised us.  We had a family dinner with my sister's family at a restaurant.  When one has 3 kids below the age at the same table, order and quiet are too things that stay away from said table.  Not that it was chaos; but it was loud and all kept talking and chatting and feeding babies...and wiping chins...and feeding water...and trying to eat and so on...all of us were super busy!  

In the midst of the excitement,  Jenny took a piece of starter from the plate.  Though the food was not in particularly spicy as such, it was still degrees hotter from what we have given her so far!  But lo!  She didn't even mind the spiciness.  Maybe it was the party ambience or maybe her taste buds are actually stronger that we thought, she 'ate' the starter.  We were shocked and surprised, because she usually cries at the first sign of spice.  Anyway, we learned two valuable lessons on that day. 1) Babies do not behave their usual way when other babies are around, and 2) We have no idea what is spicy and what isn't when it comes to baby's cuisine! :)

Heyy Baby!

If I have not said it before, I would like to say it now: babies are natural relationship bridges.  Wherever we go and whomever we encounter, people immediately start talking and playing with the baby.  And vice-versa.  If we see people with babies, we also take our baby to them and 'make them talk'!  But it is very nice.  It makes one think that if everyone in the world had a baby, everyone would talk to everyone and everyone would be nice to everyone.  It's just a thought.

Till one week ago, Jennifer would realise the significance of seeing other kids.  Other kids would come to talk to her, but she wouldn't know the difference between them and their parents!  However, this week, this all seems to have changed.  We went to a shop and had to wait sometime in the queue.  In front of me was another couple of their kid. Suddenly Jennifer started making these "hey" sounds while looking at the baby.  It may not be exactly like how we would say 'hey' but the message was clear: she was trying to get the baby's attention.  I was really surprised.  How does she know how to call out to people?  Who taught her that?

And that was not all.  We met some other kids these days, and Jenny immediately crawls up to them (if it is not on the street) and wants to play (which usually involves her pulling their hair!).  The main thing is that she recognises her peers now.  She feels more free with them around.  She knows she can play with them better than with grown-ups.  And all this without anyone actually having to tell her...it is by instinct...it is as if she can sense the purity and innocence in other children that match her own.

The more I get to see how children are and how much love and kindness is in their lives, the more I wonder, "Where did we change?"

The ways of the Ninja

Ninja's were (in simple terms) the assassins of Japan.  They were known for their efficiency and ruthlessness, but especially for their stealth.  They were usually dressed head-to-toe in black and could move about as silent as can possibly be imagined.  They were the best in Japan and feared everywhere.  

The Ninja-quality I would like to highlight here is 'stealth'.  It is a ninja's strongest weapon.  The more silent a ninja can move, the more efficient he would be in his job or in executing his task.  The classic Japanese movies show how masterful ninja's were in running around, climbing, swimming and the like, all the while never making a sound.

My daughter seems to be quite Japanese in this aspect.  My wife and I constantly get surprised by her stealth.  For example:

• Jenny sleeps with both her parents.  In the middle of the night, I sometimes find her sitting next to either of us, wide awake without us having heard a sound.
• She wears silver anklets that make cling-cling sounds while going around.  Still she manages to enter rooms without making the slightest sounds.
• Not hearing a sound from her usually means 'trouble', as she is too preoccupied with something 'taboo' to make noise!  Like putting stuff into her mouth!

We are learning the hard way that when it comes to toddlers, less stealth or less silence the better.  Since they cannot talk, they express themselves through sounds...and if she doesn't make sound, the parent immediately should check!  It might be a false alarm, but there are often instances that prove otherwise.  And silence makes us paranoid as well.  When she is asleep and alone in her bed, and the two of us are not in the room, we keep rushing to her room just to make sure she is not jumping off the bed in silence!  And more often than not, she would still be asleep; but why take chances?  Silence might be golden, but I guess I could do with a little less silence from the baby at home! :)

Bedtime Stories

When one is a first-time parent, one actually welcomes all kinds of advices and suggestions.  It actually is weird since otherwise, people do not appreciate being told how to do their stuff.  But once a baby comes along, we cannot get enough.  We ask people, share information, look up on the internet, read books, watch other parents and so on a so forth.  It seems that nothing we know is enough for us to look after our kid properly.  

Thankfully, there are plenty of websites nowadays that deal with parenting, even from the beginning of pregnancy on. The mother-to-be just has to enter details pertaining to her pregnancy, and she will get weekly and monthly newsletters which are aimed at guiding her throughout the period.  And from our experience, these newsletters are really good.  For example, during pregnancy, we were able to understand what was happening each month, what changes in food my wife had to observe, what things I should do as the supporting husband and so on.  And now, once she baby was born, these newsletters started coming only on a monthly basis, but informing us about the stages of growth in the baby's life, what new food to introduce to the baby, what games to play and so on.  Very helpful and informative.

Likewise, the newsletter 'told' us last month that we should start reading bedtime stories to the baby.  So, my friend and I went to a book store and started looking at options.  Apparently, things have changed here, too.  When I was little, we have fairytales of the Brothers Grimm or Fables and so on.  I used to love them all.  However, my friend and I were amused to find 'Bedtime Stories for Girls', 'Bedtime Stories for Boys', 'Animal Stories' and so on!  I was mildly confused whether I should introduce my girl to boys by making her read 'Bedtime stories for Boys'!  Finally, we opted for a unisex book that mentioned nothing about boys and girls, and which had nice pictures.

Now, there is not much yet to tell about the reading part.  My wife and I take Jenny to bed at more or less a regular time.  Then we take out the book and start reading.  Every page is wonderfully coloured, nicely sketched and has hardly 20 words.  But we end up spending more time on each page that I would have spent on a novel.  We point out the characters in the picture, we make sounds, we make baby point out things and yeah, we read the words, too!  I am 100% sure she doesn't understand a thing of the stories we narrate.  But she still giggles along.  I guess she is encouraging us to keep up the good work!

I myself am a very chronic reader of fiction.  I have been reading about the adventures of Robinson Crusoe, the journey to Treasure Island, the investigations of the Hardy Boys, and the like from very young days on.  And I still remember them fondly.  I hope I can instil this love for books and stories in my little girl and that these books will enrich her life and imagination the same way as they have enriched mine. :)