Baby's Day Out - Part Deux

The last weekend was a busy one.  For us, weekends usually mean a lot of time to be spent with family, in the restful bliss at home, cooking good food, playing with the baby, reading, sleeping, watching TV, going for long walks, occasionally eating out, and so on.  If it can be avoided, we prefer not to go out too much, especially if it is not a long weekend.  I mean, I would rather spend the time at home doing nothing, than spending hours together in Bangalore traffic, struggling to get to the place intended!!!

However, this weekend was different: partly due to circumstances and partly by choice.  On Saturday, we went for a morning drive...There is an IT area not too far from our place, and we just drove through the area, appreciating the buildings, seeing which companies were there and also enjoying the nicely kept lawns and gardens.  It was nice.  On the way, we also saw operators of the Metro Construction Equipment who were on strike, lined up against the road for at least a kilometre or more.  Jenny was pretty quiet throughout the trip...obviously, appreciating architecture is not among her fancies yet.

Sunday was a different story altogether.  We left our house by around 10 in the morning.  For a change, I allowed my wife to sit with Jenny in the front of the car.  Usually, I prefer the kid to lie on the back-seat as I feel it is much safer.  But we allowed her to sit in the front this once.  To quote Sylar from Heroes, "It's a whole new world out there!"  

After observing what I was doing for the initial five minutes, madam decided she can operate the gear lever for me.  My wife had a tough time restraining her: she would actually lunge across to get hold of the lever!  Once she realised that that was out of the question, things on the dashboard, buttons, stereo lights, etc. got her attention.  And she didn't sleep one bit!

We first went to Lalbagh where a Mango-Jackfruit exhibition was taking place.  Well, we were more interested in spending some time there rather than seeing the actual exhibition; I mean for a person from Kerala, these fruits grow in everyone's backyard!  The walk was nice...the weather was hot!  Ultimately, we decided we couldn't stay too long as all of us were looking more red than brown!  We bought some nice mangoes and left.

Next stop was at a friend's marriage.  Now for those of you who have never been to that side of Bangalore, allow me to explain.  There is a famous temple in Bangalore and the road where it is situated is known as 'Bull Temple Road'.  The address just said 'XYZ Kalyan Mantap, Bull Temple Road'.  Once we reached there, we realised the Bull Temple Road's primary business was in having Kalyan Mantaps!!!!  Every alternate street had one!  We were fifteen minutes early at the Road, but half an hour late for the wedding, by the time we finally found the right venue!

The wedding was nice...had a couple of friends with their wives/fiancées there...everyone just wanted to hold and carry Jenny...and as long as they would do it next to a fan, she was fine with it.   Even when we sat down to eat, the Brahmins in charge of the food would come on and off asking if they could carry her.  She had a good time.  Plenty of attention, some sweets and lots and lots of attention (did I mention this already?!).  We finally reached home in the late afternoon after visiting another friend.  

It was a nice change of pace compared to the usual weekends.  The evening was spent on the terrace enjoying the sight of a nice and cool rain.  Perfect ending to the weekend.  And about Jenny: all the energy she has been trying to get out of her system was drained by the end of the day.  She has been so hyperactive all week, that I guess even she was glad that she finally reached a state of exhaustion. :).  By 9, our baby was fed and asleep. 

What is the world coming to: Youngsters binging

This is the second entry in the occasional series of serious topics.  The intention of these topics is not to educate people on things happening around us...I am not so naive to presume that nobody knows of these things unless I tell them.  I just wish to share my disapproval of these matters and release some steam...and maybe find a kindred spirit who agrees with me.

I have had a very peculiar education.  I spent almost 9 years in a Catholic Seminary in preparation to become a catholic priest.  We were a community of about 200 people, all there with the same goal and intention.  We used to live in the seminary and go home only twice a year.  We would work together, pray together, eat together, and live on the same campus.  It is but obvious that all of us were quite different from the youngsters that lived and existed outside our campus.  Our rules were strict and our training was very focused.  Everyone was constantly being evaluated and anyone who lacked the motivation was sent home immediately.  As a result, almost everyone on campus was a very decent person with hardly any vices that society might frown upon.

Due to personal reasons, I left the seminary and stopped my training.  I came to Bangalore, and started working and studying.  I was 'out in the world' for the first time in 9 years...I was no longer bound by the rules and restrictions of the seminary.  Hence everything outside seemed different as well.

I was generally the older one for the courses I joined.  Students around me were more or less 3-5 years younger than me.  This was good as I could keep my distance without being considered to be a weirdo who doesn't like interacting with others.  And being slightly away from the group also helped me to observe from a distance the life that was happening around me.  Trust me: I was not prepared for what was in store for me.

True, all youngsters are not seminary trained.  And I was well aware of that.  But I did not expect things to be that different.  For example, I always knew youngsters drank.  But the kind of drinking I have seen hostel students do is way beyond what I would ever have expected.  I grew up seeing grown-ups drink; in fact plenty of it.  However, I never expected kids in their late teens or early twenties to out drink grown-ups!  

And drinking is just one aspect.  These kids drink like there is no tomorrow, chain-smoke as if their lungs depended on the smoke, experiment anything from pot to 'exotic' stuff, do not mind doing anything in the name of 'trying out' and at the same time have to live responsible lives.  Yes, the people I am writing about are not jobless people who are just unnecessary baggage to the society.  On the contrary: they are often bright students who get into good colleges, or very young people who just passed out of college and entered their first, well-paying job.

It is such a shame to see people throwing their lives away like this.  They are smart, they usually come from very respectable families, have good jobs and have it made to live a good life the rest of their lives.  Instead, they lose control of themselves, live a'la carpe diem, spoil their health and ultimately are wasting their time.

It is scary to think that the world of tomorrow depends on the youth of today.  I am not saying that there are no good people...of course there are!  But there is a large number of youth that requires guidance and a certain measure of control.  Being educated does not necessarily imply people know what is best for them.  They apparently don't.  I wish that parents (especially people who still have young kids) realise what awaits their kids outside and teach them from a very young age on about responsibility, decency, and about the value of life.  We owe it to our kids.

“Curiouser and curiouser!” cried Alice

Human beings are inquisitive by nature.  It's part of who we are.  It is part of our learning process.  And it is a good trait.  A person who is not curious, usually ends up dull and lacking information.  People who are not interested in things do not learn either.  People who do not learn (or keep learning) quickly dry out.  People whom others consider to be 'dry' quickly get avoided.  People who are being shunned by others, end up being lonely and miserable.  So, in order to be part of the happening world, a certain sense of curiosity is necessary.  However, too much is not appreciated either.

I come from Kerala where people seem to be blessed with an over-abundance of curiosity.  If one steps out of one's house to go anywhere, you will have all your acquaintances on the road asking you, "Where are you going?  What's the matter?  Is there any occasion?"  It is unavoidable.  Even if one tries to evade the question by saying, "I am just going to town", it begs the next question, "To buy something?"  And it goes on and on.  People are relentless in their queries.  I remember, when I joined a local school in Kerala after my family returned from Germany, my classmates needed to know everything, "Do you have a TV?  How many refrigerators do you have?  Do you own a computer?" and so on and so forth.  An endless assault of queries.  But one learns to live with it.  The trick is not to succumb to the trend.

The picture makes it quite evident that curiosity is not a human trait alone.  In fact, animals show an equal if not larger tendency to be curious.  I have heard that one catches monkeys by laying a simple trap.  I am not going into the details of the trap, but apparently the curiosity of the monkey is aroused so much that it cannot help but overcome its instinct to run and allow itself to get trapped only to satiate its hunger to know.  So, it is something that nature itself has provided...maybe it is part of how one survives in the world...maybe it is part of how one evolves...but it is part of existence.

Jennifer is no exception to the rule.  Her curiosity seems to be limitless.  And mind you: she is not fully mobile yet!  If I might quote a general example: while carrying her around, she might suddenly swoop around and turn a weird angle just to check out a sound!  Sometimes, when the three of us go for walks together and my wife falls a step or two behind, Jennifer just jumps across my chest to look behind me if her mom is still with us!  The girl doesn't know how to just turn her head, it seems.  She has to lunge forward in order to see what she wants to see...which sometimes makes holding her a tricky matter...unless one holds her steady and strongly, who knows what would happen during her next 'jump for knowledge'!

And this is just one aspect...there is so much more.  When she crawls around, everything is new and everything needs to be studied and explored.  The feel, the shape, the texture, the taste...everything has to be examined...and I am not necessarily including food in the list of study objects!!!  Even if she is crying her heart out, one just needs to give her something that she hasn't held before (like a plastic cup, or a remote control) and curiosity does the rest!  Is it any wonder why kids learn so much when they grow up?  Do they take anything for granted?  Don't they really learn about things by using their senses?  I cannot even begin to fathom how long it would take me now to learn the equivalent of what Jennifer is learning during her first year.  The way education has spoiled us grown-ups, I doubt we would learn things as effectively as infants do...

The hunter stalks the prey

I guess one of the most exciting movies I have seen is 'The ghost and the darkness'.  It is about two lions turning into maneaters and which attack rail road workers in Africa.  The suspense of the movie lies in the scenes where the lions stalk the workers.  The attack scenes per se are just ok...bit gory, but not as graphic as many of the current movies...but who cares!  It is so much more interesting to see the terror in the peoples' eyes when they know the lions are 'out there'.  The movie shows a very realistic scenario about the hunter's instinct these big cats have.  These cats are relentless; once they have fixed their eye on their prey, they stalk it, and strike when the time is right...and they will run their prey down if they need to.

Where am I going with this?  I am referring to a scenario that has become quite common in our household: feeding time!!!  Gone are the days when feeding just meant for the mother to pick up the baby and breastfeed her...gone are the days when dad could just take the bottle and fed the baby...and gone are the days when milk was enough for the baby!!!

Jenny doctor told us that we should introduce her to solid food now, and that we may feed her anything that we eat, without the spices/sweetness, of course.  We are lucky in one aspect: our baby seems to be a foodie, too.  She seems to eat everything we give her.  And that's a blessing.  She is not yet finicky that she won't eat this or would only eat that and so on.  

However, with the new-found freedom of crawling coupled with growing expertise in how to use her mouth, feet and arms, feeding time has become a 'messy affair'.  If we lay the baby down for feeding, she either kicks with her feet, or she turns onto her stomach, or she clenches her mouth shut and turns her head sideways and so on.  If it is liquids we feed her, half the spoon runs down her face and if it solids we give, most of it will be left encrusted on her cheeks. My wife literally has to use different tactics to feed Jennifer every single time....and sometimes even walk on her knees behind the crawling baby in order to feed her.  Needless to say, the poor dear is tired beyond words by the time Jenny has had her stomach filled.  And it is not that the baby isn't hungry...it's just that she is too playful.  I guess that is why people have invented the feeding chair for babies, where the kid is strapped into the chair, unable to move.  It's on my shopping list!!!

This is the situation in our household at least 6 to 8 times every day, depending how often the baby needs to be fed.  It seems that our schedule revolves around Baby sleeping...baby cleaning...baby feeding...baby playing...baby sleeping...etc.  But as I have mentioned before: one look at her chubby little face filled with a beaming smile makes it all worth it. :)

Watching TV with my kid

My sister just updated her blog how her kids do not have a TV at their place (Read it here).  Seems to me the perfect time to mention about the TV habits of me and my kid!

As far as what we watch goes, we might as well be watching static, for all she cares.  She doesn't care if Bugs Bunny is arguing with Daffy Duck, if Superman has saved Metropolis, if Simon is leaving American Idol or anything.  What does matter is that there should be some music, some bright lights, and either or both of us sitting next to her.  

Take this weekend for example.  I generally don't watch movies on TV, as the advertisements make it a torture to sit through a movie.  However, while channel surfing, I noticed that a Harrison Ford movie had just started, and I thought I would watch it (luxuries of weekends!).  I stretched my legs on the sofa and put Jenny between my legs so she would not topple over.  She has just started sitting.  She cannot yet get to the sitting position on her own, but if we help her to sit, she can maintain the position.  

I don't know if she swooned by watching Ford in a romantic role or what, but madam suddenly laid back, and looked at my face.  I started stroking her chubby cheeks, and she laid like that for what seemed the entire stretch of the movie!  Who cares what happened on TV: this was a unique experience...a true father-daughter moment.  And she didn't fall asleep; on the contrary: she just kept looking.  :)

So, I will obviously not (yet) be an advocate of not having televisions at home!  Without a TV, I would most surely have missed this wonderful experience.  Restrictions on watching TV and vices of watching TV and the impact of TV on a household are topics that would surely come up later.  Right now, I am enjoying a benefit that I am sure Mr. Philo T. Farnsworth (inventor of television...thank you Google!) did not foresee. :)

What is the world coming to: Horror Movies

(Disclaimer: I have not seen many of the movies mentioned in this blog myself, but have read about them or heard about them from others)

At the very outset itself, I would like to state that this particular blog entry is different from the prior ones.  Though I wish to dedicate this entire blog to my daughter and my experiences with her, I felt I can occasionally write on things that I feel about in general, and which may indirectly apply to my daughter or her life as well.  In fact, I think I will on and off write on topics that concern me and will all name them in a similar fashion so that it shows that these topics are distinct.

I realise it looks very weird that I start off this topic with 'horror movies', but I came across something these days what enraged me so much that I felt I had to write on it.  

Everyone likes a good scary movie at times.  Who hasn't felt the pleasure of spending a lazy afternoon on a couch with a good horror movie on?  And the more people are in the room, the merrier.  I have heard from my sister how she and our cousins have watched entire horror movies on mute only reading subtitles!!!  And yet we like watching them.  We like screaming when the 'monster' appears.  We fear along with the characters in the movie.  We wish the music was less ominous.  We wish people wouldn't stray away from their groups and become the villains next prey...etc.

During the times of my parents, horror movies constituted of movies like Jaws, Dracula, Frankenstein and so on.  Alfred Hitchcock and Jack Arnold were people who were masters of the genre and could provide a good scare.  These are considered classics even today.  Then when it came to my times, the genre slightly diversified and movies like Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th and the like came out.  Then came movies like I know what you did last Summer, Scream and so on and so forth.  There is a change in horror from what it used to be like to what it is now.  In fact, today's youngsters hardly find the classics to be scary...and vice-versa, grown-ups hardly find the horror movies of today worth watching.  This is still understandable.  

However, in recent years, I have found horror movies to have taken a completely new direction (ok, it used to be there before, but not so pronounced) that sickens me.  This subcategory of movies is known under the name 'torture porn'.  I guess the name speaks for itself.  Call my diction limited, but I have heard the term 'gore' only with respect to war movies before (and I think it was 'Saving Private Ryan' where I heard it for the first time).  But now, the term is lavishly used to describe these kind of horror movies.  I am not going into details regarding what is shown in which movie, as it might sound (sadly so) intriguing to some.  

I would like to say some things however.  I myself do not think that movies depicting torture should be labelled horror.  The victim in the movie might be experiencing abject horror, but that doesn't mean it is horror for the viewer.  The very term 'torture porn' explains that there are people among us who feel aroused and fascinated by these kinds of movies.  I have seen people who love these movies, and enjoy them, the more brutal the better.  I have heard of people searching for related games on computers where they can conduct torture on people in a fantasy set-up.  In olden days, people were on the side of the victims.  Now, the sadistic mind of the villain fascinates people.  And there is no lack of movies nor fans in this stream.

This has been going on for some time now, and I can still stomach this.  But I have recently come across an article sent to me by a friend about a movie that disgusted me to the core of my being.  In fact, when I even mentioned it to my colleague, she left my desk in disgust.  

I guess almost everyone knows what a 'centipede' is.  In simple terms, it is a worm with many legs (I know, I might be technically inaccurate here, but I guess my interpretation helps in getting the right picture).  The particular movie I am speaking about is called 'The Human Centipede'.  It's about a sadistic doctor who creates an 'Siamese triplet' by joining three people he kidnapped and joining them head to a**, with all three sharing one digestive tract.  The movie apparently is not very violent.  But the gore seems to be when the viewers imagine how these three people live after their have been conjoined, how they walk, how they conduct their bodily functions and so on.  

Is this horror?  Would this even appeal to those who love 'torture porn'?  I cannot think of anything but that this is sick.  What kind of 'normal' person would want to see this?  If you Google this movie, people are praising the 'vision' of the director, who already seems to be thinking of a sequel!!!  What kind of people watch these kinds of movies?  I know I wouldn't feel comfortable around people who support and enjoy this kind of 'entertainment'.  

If this is what movies are coming to, if this is the kind of fright people enjoy in future, I pity my child.  Ok, she always has a choice to stay away from such things...but I am talking about the general mentality.  If violence to this extend is seen as a means of entertainment and if people are insensitive towards it, it makes me wonder what people will be sensitive towards.  Movies can address issues...movies can inspire people...movies can provide lessons....movies can make one appreciate live....movies can be just fun....movies can temporarily take you out of your day-to-day life to a fantasy world...and that's what movies should do.  I just wish that people would take a conscious stand and avoid watching movies that degrade humanity and emotions and that glorify the evil that exists.   I firmly believe the world is in dire need of kindness and love today...more than ever.  If we could only provide the right ideals and examples to our kids, I guess our work on this planet is done.

She's on her knees!

Watching the development of a child is an amazing experience.  Jennifer seems to learn new things every day; be it something useful or not.  One day she might realise her voice can get more things done around the house once she raises the decibels.  Another day, she learns that throwing her toys will make dad and mum 'fetch'.  Then she learns (while being fed) that she would rather make gargling sounds rather than swallowing.  She knows it is much more fun to bang her hands on the computer's keyboard than playing with her rattle....and the list goes on.

Now, she has started crawling, which has opened up a whole new realm for her.   This doesn't mean she can crawl about like Baby Bink (Baby's Day Out); but she is getting there.  Right now, visualise a kid behind in his dad's car trying to get it out of the garage: the car moves forwards and hits a wall; it moves backwards and hits a wall; and somehow, without getting the car out of the garage itself, the kid succeeds in turning it 180 degrees!  That's more or less how Jennifer crawls...she hasn't yet mastered the 'pushing forward with her feet' yet; she still pulls herself forward with her arms.  

This new found freedom amuses her tremendously.  Forbidden Objects like dad's slippers, newspapers, tv wires, usb cables and the like are now literally within her grasp.  Thank God she is not strong enough yet to pull things out (like pen drives out of the USB ports!) but she keeps trying.  And she gets stuck in the weirdest places...like with her feet below the coffee table and with half of her body outside; a situation that usually ends up with a high pitched version of her saying "HELP!"  

This crawling around has its benefits and troubles as well.   Benefit: she can keep herself busy, exploring her environment.  Trouble: the environment is not safe.  A newspaper to us is something to eat for her.  A thing on the floor is something to eat for her....everything is meant to go into her mouth!  Everything.  As if her other senses do not work and she depends entirely on her 'taste'!!!

But it is (still) amazing to watch.  While watching TV, we end up watching her rather than the program.  I guess in no time, she will start sitting...and then pull herself up...then stand...then walk...etc..etc..lot's of things to look forward to (or dread!). :)

Miscellaneous Musings

I do not have anything in particular to write on today...so I thought I would pen down some miscellaneous things about Jenny.

1. She loves the mirror.  Hold her in front of the mirror any time; she'll stop what she is doing (even if it is crying) and smile at herself.  I wonder what the fascination is between women and mirrors.  In order to teach us that the universal sign for women was '♀', my biology teacher told us to visualise it as a hand mirror in a woman's hand...I never confused the signs again!  And I don't intend to sound gender biased here...I doubt I have seen my sister's sons so happy in front of the mirror (I don't think I have ever seen them in front on any mirror!) as my little girl is.  Her face just lights up!  We were thinking yesterday of getting her a small mirror for herself.  After all, vanity: thy name is woman!
2. She is a cuddle bunny!  She really is.  She loves being cheek to cheek with the person carrying her.  She enjoys sitting one one's lap and just leans back to look at our faces.  While sleeping in the night, she turns and turns till she feels either of us parents lying next to her.  She sometimes puts her face into our palms or against our arms just feeling the warmth.  She may not know how to kiss or what it means, but it doesn't stop her from trying to kiss us!  And even if she is just sitting idle with us, she would keep touching our hands and fingers, as if to reassure us that she likes us...Ok, I am sure it may not be something that is unique to our child, but we love it.
3. Both my wife and I are foodies.  We love eating (it shows!) and experimenting with different recipes.  To quote an uncle of mine, "Knowing you two, I have no doubts the baby will eat, too."  True.  In general, Jennifer has no problem with eating.  She does not seem to be particularly fussy about what to eat, as long as she gets to eat!  Her doctor has told us to gradually introduce her to the food that we eat, but paying attention not to make things too sweet, spicy or salty.  So, be it rice, mashed potatoes, mangoes, bananas, carrots and the like....she doesn't mind eating it.  Which in turn makes us happy, too.  As long as the baby keeps eating and eating well, we consider it a sign that she feels comfortable and well.

I could go on musing like this about this and that.  But I guess this would have to do today.  At the risk of repeating myself: I treasure all these moments and experiences with my daughter.  And I love writing them down so that the memory and the emotion is still fresh...and maybe Jennifer herself will like reading these down the road and realise that she has always been loved and cared for by her parents.

A hairy experience

Children inherit all sorts of things from their parents.  Some share behavioural aspects, some share looks, some share pet-peeves, some share likes and dislikes, etc.  Jennifer has her share of things that she shares with me and some that she shares with her mother.  But of all things she could have gotten from me, she got my hair!

Let me take you down memory lane.  It's the 80's Germany.  The pop band 'Boney M' was a huge hit all over the US and Europe.  Thanks to the lead singer in the group and couple of other factors, a particular hairstyle called 'the afro' was popular among people who had curly hair.  Now, in general, Germans have straight hair.  I was born a coloured child with black, curly hair in Germany.  Obviously, my hairstyle was 'the afro'.  It almost came naturally to me.  Here is a photo to prove it.  Yup...that's me...not yet walking but having sporting a mane of hair!  Our German family friends used to love it.  They would ask my parents for a lock of my hair for good luck!  Combing was never easy...my parents usually had to help me out...but in short: my hairstyle was unmistakeable.


Now my kid is a girl!  The Afro was surely not meant for women...so I pity her for having gotten this particular characteristic from me.  In India, people have all sorts of advices on how to 'get rid of curly hair'.  The most accepted practice that people seem to unanimously accept is to shave the hair and 'good hair will grow'!  Unlike my 'bad hair'!!!


Jenny might only be six months old, but combing her hair was already making my wife dread taking her anywhere, "It's very difficult to comb her hair."  Obviously I wouldn't hear of it; I survived childhood without people making fun of any unkempt hair, and my daughter would be fine, too.  But the more the hair grew, the more we became aware of the practical problems.  So, we decided it was time for a 'trim'.


I don't intend to sound sexist now, but looks matter a lot to women.  And being a good father, I thought I shouldn't deprive my little girl of any opportunity to look good.  Hence, the trimming of her hair was not done by us, but by a beautician (there is a beauty parlour just outside our house).  My wife took Jenny there, as these places all have the ominous sign outside: MEN NOT ALLOWED!  Apparently, Jenny was very amused by what was happening.  She neither fidgeted nor cried (to the surprise of the beautician) and was more curious about the snipping and snapping. My wife was given the cut hair in an envelope (to keep for memory) and they came home.

Now, Jennifer always have been a very cute child to us.  But the hairstyle has somehow enhanced this!  Her face has changed completely and she seemed a different person altogether!  Her entire head seems to have shrunk by half!  But it is so cute.  It may not be possible for me to run my hands through her locks, but it is nice nevertheless to stroke her head now.  And combing is not trouble at all now.  In fact, a quick pat with the palm does the trick, too!  And Jenny seems happy, too, having shed her 'burdens' from her head.


Whether the locks come back or not, or whether we still have to get her head shaved is a matter that still has time.  Right now, we are enjoying the looks for her first haircut and cannot but wonder what more we will get to see in future. :)

sniff...sniff...cough...cough...

The state of suffering continued in our household over the weekend.  We awoke on Saturday morning to Jenny coughing her heart out!  I know I might sound weird, but it sounds so 'awwww' to hear a 6 month old baby cough...and the heart-breaking part is that she was trying to smile at us between coughs!  She had a running nose, too.  Hence, in order to make best use of the weekend time in order to get her back to normal, we rushed her to the doctor, who assured us that we didn't have anything to worry about.  He just prescribed some cough syrup and nasal drops.

Now, those of you who do are not aware how a baby takes medicines, let me explain it.  Most medicines prescribed for babies are in liquid form.  One uses a 'dropper' to feed the medicine to the baby (or to put the nasal drops into the baby's nose).  Now, imagine an active baby which is already irritated by her cough and sore nose (from all the nose cleaning!) having to lie still for her parents to bring the 'dropper' to her and squeeze the medicine into her mouth/nose, as per the requirement.  If you have seen Terminator 2, where the mental hospital interns try to administer medicines to Sarah Connor, then you might have an idea how the baby fights during medication time!!!  And usually, half of it lands up on the person administering the medicine and the whole process needs to be repeated....this must be one of the few instances where I wish the baby would be old enough to swallow her medicines!

Anyway, a good part of the weekend was spent nursing.  Feeding the baby, carrying the baby, putting the baby to sleep: everything was a two-parent job!  It seems weird how a baby that is weakened by ailments requires twice the attention of a healthy baby!!!

To cut a long story short: today is Monday.  Jenny woke up by quarter past six and seems to be her usual self...almost.  We still forced some medicine down her throat, but I am positive that the worst is over.  I hope she will be back to normal by tomorrow. :)

Misery loves company....

Jenny's condition is improving.  Her temperature has come down a bit, but she was still quite cranky yesterday.  We had to carry her around most of the time, feed her with patience and try really hard to get her to sleep!  My office was very cooperating and I was allowed to go home early in order to render my assistance at home.  That was very helpful as it gave my wife the opportunity to get some well-needed sleep.  

By the time evening came, my wife proved she was ill, too.  She was coughing and feeling weak all over.  But thank God, Jenny decided that if Mom wasn't well, she had to do something, and she started getting better.  So the evening went more or less in each one taking care of the other one.  And nature played its role, too, by providing a soothing rain in the evening which lowered the temperature.  The end result was that both mother and daughter slept very well through the night.

Today morning, Jenny's temperature is still down...so things seem to be improving.  Wife still has her cough and cannot speak much (!!!) but apart from that, things seem to be fine; or at least improving.

I don't have anything more to blog today...just had to write something on the status quo at home, especially for those who use this blog to get updates about how things are with me and my family. :)  

How small...how fragile...

My baby is ill...there is nothing to worry about...it's just a fever...but it is our first fever!

As a parent, one always rejoices in how healthy one's baby is; how seldom she cries; how she is not fussy at all; how well she eats; how happy she is; and so on and so forth.  There is something in everything that has the potential to make us proud.  During those times, we often forget that as much as these things are part of her life, there are other aspects as well.

We cannot thank God enough for having given us a healthy child.  And so far, she has not taken ill even once in the last six months.  However, yesterday evening, she developed a fever.  It was evening and she had just awakened after her nap.  We realised she was warm but we initially attributed it to her having slept during a warm Bangalore afternoon!  When it did not subside later on, my wife suggested we meet the paediatrician.  I thought it was not called for and called Mel-Mom who told us how they handled fever.  

My wife still kept insisting we see a doctor, but I remained stubborn saying, "It's just a fever; it will pass."  However, as the closing time to the doctor's office approached (9 pm), I was getting restless.  What if I was wrong?  What if it was not 'just a fever'?  I immediately packed up my wife and kid and reached the doctor's office just in time for Jennifer to be his last patient for the day.  Thankfully, it just seems to be a fever.  The doctor prescribed some medicine and told us to observe her for the next 24 hours (ya, as if we wouldn't have otherwise!!!) in order to be sure that there is nothing else to worry about.

My good wife took care of Jennifer most of the night...I offered to help, but was told that she would handle it.  At 4 in the morning, I took over the crying baby so that my wife could at least catch some sleep.  I carried Jenny around the house, with her feverish cheek pressed against mine and listening to her whimpering...it was both cute as well as sad.  She felt so fragile...she is so helpless...she cannot express her discomfort or her pain...She depends entirely on us to 'read' her properly...And to see a constantly happy and laughing child in a condition like this only increases the ache in one's heart to see her well and healthy again.  She finally did fall asleep and slept quite well for almost 2 hours uninterrupted.

I realise I might be exaggerating.  But as I said, we have never seen our Jenny-kutty ill before...so the entire scenario is new to us as well.  I just hope the fever will subside today...that my child will be back to her normal, happy self soon enough....that she will get a good night's sleep tonight...and that by tomorrow, this all will be in the past.

Ike and Mike, they think alike!

The Bible has the story of the Tower of Babel.  People of the world were united as one race with one language.  Then a little bit of this and that happened, and humankind got divided.  Even their language got divided and that's how people started speaking in different tongues.  It was a curse God bestowed upon humankind for its arrogance.  But in spite of this curse, God has given an alternative to people on how to get into His good book again: become like a child!

I don't intend to sound religious in this blog about my daughter.  Not at all.  But I am trying to highlight a point.  When grown-ups meet, there are always awkward silences.   The standard couple of initial sentences go smoothly, "Hello.  How do you do?  My name is so and so." And if you are Indian, you will definitely add, "Where are you from?  Are you married?  Where do you work?" and so on.   But even then, the conversation dies out....and people bring in the standard weather, politics, business, work, sports, gossip or similar topics in order to keep communicating.  But is there a true bonding that takes place?  Is it actually heart-to-heart?  Let each one decide for themselves.

We were invited to my cousins's son's first birthday party.  However, due to a conflict of schedules, we found ourselves unable to attend the party.  So, we visited him the evening before the party.  This cousin has two kids: one aged 3 and one ages 1.  And another niece of his (aged 9) was also there.  

The living room scenario was like this: 6 grown-ups and 4 kids.  And of course, the kids hit it off immediately.  They were laughing, playing, pulling hair (playfully!), holding hands, embracing and so on and so forth.  No language was required.  No guidance was necessary.  No monitoring was called for.  They had good fun and 'communicated' well.  My daughter was extremely happy.  She was laughing, doing most of the hair-pulling, talking to everyone in her gaga-googoo style...it was so cute to watch.

This is where I think the innocence of children can teach us.  They are not bothered about third persons....they couldn't care less about the affairs of the world.  They are just genuinely interest in one another and concerned about having a good time with each other.  And it's not about these kids only.  You come across kids anywhere, on playgrounds or anywhere (except when they are at school!!!), they get along well.  

I think there is a lesson here somewhere.  And I am not even trying to lay it out in words.  It is pretty obvious.  I guess the crux of a good relationship can be learned from kids.  It is so pure and sincere.  If we would only learn from them, I guess many things in our lives would improve...I am sure of that.

To catch a bull by its horns

There is a story about a child stuck on a tree.  The child is scared to come down and nobody was ready to climb the tree to get him out.  A man appeared on the scene and told the child to jump and that he would catch it.  The child jumped, and the man caught the child.  Bystanders immediately asked the child if it had not been afraid to jump, the child replied, "No, the man was my father.  I knew he would catch me."

Nothing this dramatic happened to us yet.  And I hope it won't.  I am just trying to make a point how trusting a child is towards its parents.  And how much responsibility the father has to earn this trust.  A father is supposed to make the child feel safe.  The child should feel big and strong and confident to face the world, knowing its father is there to protect her (and to take care of bullies!).  The child should feel courageous enough to face the unknown boldly, instead of fearing it.  So, as a father, I am to facilitate all this!

Thankfully, I can take my time to do all this.  Many of these things can still wait.  I guess my priority right now is to make her feel safe when she is with me.  And I am not going the Michael Jackson way to hold my baby over the balcony railing to convince her that I won't drop her!  I figured I should get her to ride on my shoulders...if she knows she is safe there, that would be one step to the right direction.  

I thought it would be a gradual process; put her on my shoulder once....then more often...until she finds it safe and comfortable.  Note to self: never underestimate kids!  The moment this child of mine sat on my shoulders, she grapped two fistfulls of whatever little hair I have and started laughing!  For my wife, it is like watching someone riding a horse; baby holding on to my hair, shouting "yipee" in her own language, encouraging the horse to keep moving by pushing my hear forward...it's fun!  So, I guess it is implied that she is feeling safe.  

BTW: this has proven to me a very effective way of calming the kid.  Whenever mood swings strike her or she cries, I just need to put her on my shoulders and the situation is taken care of...at least until my wife comes and actually solves the issue!!!  

I realise that this might be a very silly topic to write a blog on...but that's the fun I am experiencing right now: nothing seems trivial when I am with my kid.  Every day and every experience with her is something I enjoy and would love to treasure.  And I hope, sometime down the lane, this blog will help me reminiscent about the little things in our lives that gave us so much joy and happiness. 

If looks could kill....

I realise that this is a weird topic to write on immediately after having praised my daughter's smile, but why fight the natural flow of events?

All of us must have come across usages that explain the look that people have.  For instance, delinquents often seem to confess to their crimes when the interrogating officer makes them uncomfortable with his stare (at least in movies this happens!).  Or some faces in documentaries are unforgettable because of the pain in people's eyes that one can see.  Very often, it is impossible to say 'no' to someone because of the look in their face.  People in love can often be spotted because of 'the look'...and the list continues.  

In the same manner, my daughter has a look (and I am yet to figure out from whom in our families she got it from!).  If anyone had asked me, I would have said (before!) that the easiest thing to do is to make a baby smile.  I mean, how difficult could it be?  A few goo-goo sounds...a few funny faces...a little bit of this and that...and presto!  A smiling baby!  Wrong.

This girl can make me uncomfortable if she wants to.  She would look you straight into your eyes and keep staring, without wavering, in a serious fashion.  And not just for a minute or two...she can keep staring.  Nothing what one does or says would make her smile or turn her face away.  When she starts doing that, a hundred thoughts start going to my head, "My God, is she angry?  Did I do anything wrong?  Did I hurt her?  Is she upset?  Was the food bad?  Did I disturb her?"  It's an instantaneous guilt-trip that she sends me on.  This picture (though it shows how serious she can be) has been taken on a day when she was that serious...and still she looks more serious than I often can be!!!

I already keep thinking that I should guide her to a career where she can capitalise on this 'gift' of hers.  If it comes naturally to her, why not make utmost use of it!  Of course I am just kidding.  But still....who would have thought babies could stare one down! 

The waking Beauty

What most parents never forget are the sleepless nights.  Almost every parent talks about crying babies, irregular sleeping timings, gastro-related problems, colic and so on.  Movies and comics drive the point home: a baby in the house means a compromise on sleep is mandatory.  

Obviously, we expected no different.  And we were brave enough to insist that we (husband and wife) would take of the baby on our own, instead of asking our mothers for help (as is the custom in South India).  After my baby turned 3 months old, we brought her to our place, where it would only be the 3 of us.  We were prepared to face anything coming our way, whatever be it.  Turns out: life can be nice!

God bless my child: she has never given us a sleepless night so far (she is 6 months old now!).  We usually put her to bed around 9 pm and she hardly wakes up before 7 am.  My wife might feed her twice in the night, but that's it!  There have been occasions when she woke up crying, but 5 minutes of carrying around would put her back to sleep.  We are blessed this way.

But what I like most about her sleeping is something else entirely.  A journey culminates when one reaches the destination.  A dish is considered ready once it is served.  In the same manner, my baby's "sleep blessing" reaches its high when she wakes up.  

I have stayed in hostels and dormitories for almost 9 years of my life.  I have had room-mates for almost 3 years once I started working.  I have seen how people act, react and look like when they wake up.  It's nothing pleasant.  Really.  But when Jennifer opens her eyes after every nap/slumber (be it voluntarily or us waking her up), she smiles....it is the most beautiful sight in the world.  Her eyes may not even be fully open...but if she sees anyone next to her when she awakes, she gives a toothless smile that brightens up her face.  I try to catch her waking up every morning before going to work.  Once she smiles at me like this, I am ready for anything the day has in store for me.  

I would say that even if my baby had sleeping troubles, irregular timings or colic or whatever...this morning smile would have been enough and more to make up for everything else.  It is as if I am viewing a sunrise within our bedroom.  God bless her...

Baby's Day Out

One of the most admired (and feared!) qualities in Germans is their precision.  They plan meticulously and are punctual to a fault.  I have lived, worked and interacted with Germans all my life.  So it is of no surprise that I have imbibed some of these qualities myself.  

Ask anyone who has planned anything with me.  I insist on prior planning and I hate last minute changes.  There have been plenty of instances where we have left for outings with grumpy faces just because I had to lecture everyone who came late!  Don't blame me; blame the Germans!!!

My brother-in-law and myself have been planning for almost 3 years to go to Nandi Hills, near Bangalore.  It never happened.  But we kept talking and saying that we have to go.  Yet, to my great surprise, we finally did go when he just came down with his car and said, "Let's go!"  Just like that...no prior planning, no fixed timings, no picnic bag...nothing.  And we went!  Who would have thought that even outings work out without planning in advance!  Certainly not me.  So, my sister with her 3 men (to be read as husband and 2 sons!) as well as me and my two women (wife and Jennifer!) set out to Nandi Hills.

It was Jennifer's first outing, if one ignores her series of trips in Kerala to visit relatives and her journey from Kerala to Bangalore!  So, this was her first fun trip.  Her cousins Timothy (age 3ish) and Nathaniel (age 2ish) kept her occupied by showing her and naming all the construction equipments that nowadays fill Bangalore roads!   It is literally impossible now in Bangalore to travel anywhere without encountering road blocks, Metro work, drainage work, road improvements, etc..etc...but one bears it all hoping it is all for the best.

The drive was nice...once we passed BIAL area, traffic reduced and it was hard to believe we were still close to Bangalore, since the area was quite deserted and green.  We saw plenty of grape plantations and bought some grapes from people who were standing every ten metres along the road selling them.  We drove up to the Hill, and enjoyed the view; what a welcome change from the city panorama that one sees every day.  And the air was fresh...it was nice.  The kids also saw their first snake (that wasn't in captivity) and it heightened the mood in the car that were doing something exciting for the kids!  At least for most.  Jenny had gotten tired from sitting in the car by then (naturally, since for a 6 month old, a car is like a cell without space to move around!).  

We finally reached the ticket counter (yes, they do sell tickets there!).  We wanted to pay for a ticket for the car but were told to wait.  Apparently, there were already more than 600 cars on the hill, and he was waiting for some of them to come back, before issuing new tickets!!! We thought he was exaggerating.  He wasn't.

The sight that greeted us once entered the arch of Nandi Hill was hundreds of cars parked along the road and traffic congestion every 10 metres when up-going traffic met down-coming traffic amidst non-moving traffic (i.e. cars parked!).  We finally found a spot to park and went walking.  It was really nice.  It had rained the day before and the air was fresh and cool.  It was almost 5 in the evening and the heat was disappearing.  The kids enjoyed the scenery, the women were happy clicking pictures, the dads were carrying kids and bags!  Jenny loved it.  She was on my shoulders most of the time and was laughing and giggling. What more does one want from a trip?

We had a snack at the KSTDC outlet there and were surprised how good the food was (though vegetarians would not have found much options).  What I did not appreciate was that this outlet lacked a separate family area and that people with kids had to eat next to people who were consuming liquor and smoking.  It did not feel very comfortable.  

Anyways, we had some good moments there.  We left close to 7.  The kids immediately fell asleep.  We bought some take-out and ate at home, all happy and content with the day's trip.  It feels like a blessing to have family or good friends nearby with whom one can do these things and go on trips with.  Especially when one lives as a stranger/outsider in a city like Bangalore, these friends/family provide the sense of belonging that one longs for.  And especially for the kids, such outings are even more important as they get chances to interact with one another in open areas and also to get exposed to some nature.  I really feel that I was blessed as a kid, growing up in on German Countryside, with nothing but nature surrounding the village.  City kids have no idea what they are missing.  But I intend to take care that my daughter will not miss out on much...some how...